Dear Friends, Zoe here but not for long! I’ve been preparing to take this trip, you see, and have been so busy that I neglected to write up a wonderful new adventure for you. So, I’ve asked a friend to take my spot this month. I’ve told you about my human, Emily, and I’ve told you about my friend, Bella, but I’ve never told you about my friend Burt. Or how I met him. That is a tale for another day. Let’s just say that Burt owed me a favor. Big time. I’m happy to call in my chips today, probably happier than he is to be called on to do this favor for me. At any rate, here is Burt. I hope he entertains you well but don’t get too enamored, for I will be back next month!
Hello, Everyone. My name is Burt. I’m a friend of Zoe’s. I reckon you all know her. She lives in a house near where I live. She is rather refined, in a nice way. Me, I live in an alley a block away. My left ear is half chewed off—a casualty of war.
Zoe has asked me to take over for her this month. Said something about a last-minute trip, but I can’t tell you anything more about that. She’s a girl cat and yaks a lot. I’m a guy cat and tune the yakking out. Anyway, seeing as how I had nothing else on my plate, I decided to take a shot at it. I’m not a writer, but how hard can it be? Don’t they say write like you talk? That’s the easy part, but what does one write about? Zoe mentioned adventures and I think I can handle that because, unlike Zoe, I roam far and near. And on those forays, I’ve had many adventures.
So I figure I’ll tell you about my most memorable adventure. This will be a short adventure story because, like I already told ya, I’m against yakking for yakking’s sake.
It happened in Boston. I was bored and, finding nothing of interest nearby, I headed south and found myself in Beantown. Now, if any of ya’all have ever been to Boston, you know it’s a cool town. On the small side, but with more alleys than I can count. And a busy waterfront. It’s usually cooler and breezy by the water and this day was no different. Riding that breeze was my favorite smell of all, so I followed my nose to the pier.
About a dozen fishing boats were moored at The Wharf, and on the pier were several large boxes. All cats love boxes, even cool tomcats like me. I especially love boxes when they are full of fish. I jumped up onto the rim of one and eyed the flopping feast for a second before diving in. I was about to jump out, one fat, squiggly prize in my mouth, when the boat’s captain dumped a bucket of ice into the box, knocking me backward. Then he closed the cover of the box. Through the slats, I saw him sit his butt down. On top of the box. Just my luck. Of all the boxes, I hadda pick this one.
I made some noise, but he either didn’t hear me or didn’t care that I was stuck in there. I was getting cold. This was not a time for being patient. Or polite. So I thrust my paw right through the slats of the box cover and hooked my claws into that guy’s backside. He yelped like a pup. Or a little girl. Rubbing his backside, he jumped up, knocking the cover off the box, and I jumped out, that prize still in my mouth.
The fisherman wasn’t too happy about that. He shouted and came running toward me, brandishing a stick. How selfish. I mean, I took one stinkin’ fish, alright? I was going to bite his leg, but I didn’t want to let go of my dinner. So I ran off instead. I hunkered down in an alleyway and was about to savor my feast when I heard it. The loud and menacing growl of another tom. He was drooling and obviously very hungry. The day was quickly going downhill.
What followed is no surprise. I mean, we’re talkin’ about two cats and a fish. And that’s how my left ear got a little torn up. But you should have seen him! In the end—after I’d shown him who was really the boss—I showed him some mercy. I left him my left-overs. And then I did the Stray Cat Strut out of that alley and all the way home.
(psssst . . . let’s see if Zoe can top THAT next month!)
Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog 
Having mercy and not killing the other cat was mighty big of you. I can see you are a prince in the alleyways. Pleased to meet you. Sorry about the tear in your ear. Some Toms just don’t know how to ask, do they?
Dickens (used to be lost but now this two legs pretends she understands me. 🐱
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“Prince”? If I relay your message to Burt, Miss T, I will never hear the end of it! But I will be good and do so, just to thank you for reading and commenting!
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Ha ha. You are more than welcome. 😀
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Burt, you is a wild one! If I were to have some fresh fish laying about, it would be my pleasure to leave one or two for a stray cat visitor. However, something tells me that you got quite a bit of “cat-fish-faction” out of taking a swipe at that man’s behind… Guess working for it, makes the victory a bit sweeter. ❤
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SIGH….guess I will have to answer for Burt. He’s out catting around somewhere, you know. OK, I know what he would say to this one. He would say simply “SA-WEEET!” He’s such a gangsta tom.
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Make sure he shares his fish with you for all the secretarial work you are doing for him, Zoe! ❤
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I like the way you think, Annette!
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Good story, Burt. I like to steal food too. Well played, but leaving a little for your adversary is, I think, a bit too much. But cats are weird.
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I’ll tell ya what’s too much, Danny. Now that he sees how popular his story is, he wants me to set up an account for him to do his own stuff. But I already share this computer with one other being and adding another user would be too much. Two too much, actually. (Is that proper English? I think not, but I like the sound, so live with it!)
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Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
Zoe the dazzling feline has drafted in a friend of hers to take over while she is on a trip.. Burt is an alley cat and a bad boy on the block (a softee underneath I bet he likes kittens) anyway here is Burt’s adventure … spoiler… his nick name is Van Gogh!
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“Van Gogh”?! Good one, Miss Sally. I’ll have to explain it to Burt, though. On behalf of Burt, thanks for the reblog.
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Pleasure Zoe.. see you when you get back. x
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Reblogged this on TINA FRISCO and commented:
Zoe the Fabulous Feline relinquishes her guest spot on The Story Reading Ape this month to Burt, the daring and non-chatty (he likes to think) adventurer. And what a tale he has to tell! But Zoe couldn’t resist commenting on Burt’s post, so you’ll still have a chance to interact with our favorite fun and furry feline 🙂
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Burt would thank you for the reblog, Miss Tina, if he were here – and IF he knew what a reblog was! I guess I will have to tell him how popular his story is . . . man! I will never hear the end of it!
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You’re a natural Burt.
Hugs
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Hi David. I’ll tell Burt what you said. But you’ll have to trust that I won’t add a choice word or two to your description.
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Reblogged this on The Life & Times of Zoe the Fabulous Feline.
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STELLLLLLLLA! (That felt good!) Hi Lucy, first I have to say that ol’ Burt does not have a blog. He doesn’t even have email. He’s a cool cat but definitely not sophisticated like moi. So I’ll have to relay the message to him that Stella….ah….appreciates…..him, and if he ever finds his way to Texas–yada yada yada….. ::::Cheshire grin::::
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Thanks, Zoe. I’m sure Stella would appreciate that. Oops Hold on. She said never mind. Quote “No e-mail. I’ll pass.” Lucy
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Stella is one smart feline!
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🙂
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Somehow I just KNEW you were a cat person. The diva of our household (other than me) is Little Lanky Lena Lou Longest. My husband told a man at church he lives with two divas and one of them is a cat!
Gorgeous cat. Can’t wait to real all her posts.
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“Gorgeous”? Thank you, Miss Rae! And I love your cat’s name….nothing like a little alliteration to make me smile – and a whole lotta alliteration to make me laugh right out loud! From one diva to another, thanks for reading my story and commenting!
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Hey, Burt. I read your story to our house feline, and she loved it. She said something about liking the bad boys. Anyway if you ever get to Texas look her up. Her name is Stella. My name is Lucy, and I’m a Boxer.
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Well, I said I was sophisticated BUT I never said I never make a mistake! Lucy, that comment up there was meant as a reply to you….in case you didn’t notice.
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I saw it. Thanks, Zoe. Lucy. Stella thanks you as well.
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