As the local supermarket has seen fit to start selling Christmas stuff already and someone-who-shall-remain-nameless has graciously shared the latest virulent bug with me, I thought I could do worse than to update a letter written in August three years ago…

Dear Father Christmas,

I know, I know, I haven’t written to you in a very long time and it is only August.

Having said that, you are aware that your jolly red image is already being touted in the shops? I understand that with the global population having pretty much doubled in the last 50 years or so the time and motion studies would be pretty hot on you getting an early start, and the risk assessments have to be a nightmare with the aircraft and other stuff we regularly send flying through the skies. Missiles and the like. Now if you could do something about those….

Not to…