Hello, fans and friends across the globe! Zoe here . . . catizen of the world. I’m going to let you in on a little secret or three, but before I do, a brief introduction may be in order (I guess there might be some people who have not yet made my acquaintance). I am a soft-as-sable tuxedo cat, with almond-shaped green eyes, like my human’s. Well, we have the same color eyes, anyway; in terms of shape, Emily’s eyes . . . never mind, it’s not important. I like to write stories about my life and adventures, and you all seem to enjoy reading them, thankfully. That is how I came to be contributing monthly to the Ape’s blog. My stories are true—well, there is always a germ of truth to each one. You may need a microscope to find it, but it’s there. And with that, I will get to it.
This one is more of an advice piece. Getting what you need is relatively easy, so I am going to show you how to get what you want. Here are some of the things I want and how I get them.
I like to sit on Emily’s lap, especially when she’s working, because she does that with the laptop on—where else?—her lap. That damn thing takes away from the “me-time” I want. When she’s reading or typing, my journey to her lap takes me only as far as the arm of her recliner, where she gives me a quick pet, but then tells me “no” to get me to go no farther. How I dislike that word! And she says it in that voice, which compels me to obey. After all, I’m only thirteen pounds and she – never mind, I’ll be kind—she is bigger than I. Lately I’ve noticed her nodding off now and again. So, when her eyes are closing, mine are wide open, on the alert for that chance to reach my destination. And I do. It does not matter one iota that the laptop is also on her lap. I manage to lay across her chest. Sometimes she doesn’t even wake up; other times, she’ll put one hand at the back of my head and the other down by my butt, and hold me tight to her bosoms. I just love when that happens! Then I’ll stretch my front legs out and let my paws rest against her neck. Nothing like a good huggle!
Another thing I want is that strange cat sitting right outside my deck door. He’d been walking around our yard, sniffing at things, chasing my squirrels. But now there he sits, right on the other side of the screen, staring me down. I know I have the new cat door and can go out through that, but it’s in another room, and I want to get outside now. So I simply jump at the screen and it pops right off its track. See how easy it is to get what you want? Of course, the resulting crash caused the strange cat to run off, but I didn’t chase him. No fun in chasing a scaredy-cat. Besides, I didn’t want him that bad. I strolled back into the house—right through the side window now minus its screen—as if nothing had happened and went into my condo to nap. Emily is still baffled.
Speaking of naps, Emily has such a comfortable bed and I love to roll around on it. But she prefers that I not get on her bed. Something silly about dander and my lovely fur being hard to remove from the blanket. Really? Anyway, I have two ways to get what I want when it comes to that bed. One, speed and, two . . . tenacity. I sit right outside the closed door and bolt in as soon as she opens it. I’m pretty fast and before she knows it, I’m curled up on the bottom of her bed. She usually smiles and leaves me be, but sometimes she shoos me off and chases me out. Never can figure her out, so it’s always an adventure to see which way the wind will blow at any given time. But the big trick is getting her to come to the door in the first place, and quickly, so I’m not sitting around there all day. I mean, I have things to do, felines to see, adventures to have, you know what I mean? Generally, I entice her to open the door with a little song. The longer she ignores me, the louder I sing. No need to explain the rest.
I have saved the best for last. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love and want my treats. Truth be told, all four-leggeds love their treats. But, heck! At this point, one might say I need them! Over the years, I have observed how . . . um . . . frustrated Emily gets when the male human around here leaves all the cabinet doors open. So, if my pleas for a treat go unanswered, I go around the kitchen and nudge open the cabinet doors. All of them, starting with the bottom level. Wherever Emily is, the POP! POP! POP! sound of those doors opening brings her running, and voila! Then, guess what Zoe gets? That’s right . . . Zoe gets what she wants.
Persistence, my friends. Persistence, observation, and a little creativity. That’s all it takes to get what you want.
Emily’s Sunrise Editing Services
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