Danny’s Affinities…

Posted on by Chris The Story Reading Ape

First, I would like to introduce myself. I am Danny the Dog and I live on a boat with my human, Andrew. He’s okay … for a human. But today I want to talk about two of my most favorite things in the world.

I want to tell you about my love of hot dogs—chicken hot dogs in particular. Every morning when I take Andrew out for his walk, after we come back, he’ll give me a hot dog. This is something new in our relationship, but I’m not complaining. The thing is that Andrew is so malleable, I have conned him into giving me a second hot dog.

Allow me to explain. I have it down to single-bark commands. The way it works is that I’ll bark once if I want Andrew to do something for me. If he doesn’t hop to within thirty seconds, I bark again, just once. That usually does it. I seldom have to bark a third time. So, after I finish my morning hot dog, I give the command and Andrew brings me another one. I always try for a third, but Andrew isn’t that well trained … yet.

Now on to my next great joy—chasing anything with wheels on it. Don’t you just love to bark at and chase cars? Well, I do. I must admit, I don’t always do it, but when I do, I do it with a vengeance. Once, Andrew had me tied to a tree while he was communing with nature or whatever he does when he’s around trees (I use trees for a completely different purpose). We were behind this building and a big truck, an eighteen-wheeler, came by. I couldn’t resist. I went after it full force. But wouldn’t you know it? The damn leash stopped me two feet from the damn truck! The driver slammed on his brakes and had a pained look on his face because he thought he had run me over. So it wasn’t all for naught.

The last thing I want to tell you about is the time I bounced off the wheel of a pickup truck. Somehow I connived to get off the leash that Andrew insists I be tethered to 24/7. Anyway, he was distracted by something and our neighbor, Beth, came tooling by in her truck. It was too good an opportunity to pass up and I tore out after the offending vehicle. Well, I’m embarrassed to say so, but I misjudged my trajectory and hit the front wheel dead center and bounced off. Poor Beth thought she had run me over. Andrew had a heart attack. And I just stood there with a dazed look and a grin on my face. After all, when Beth stopped, I had won—I had captured the truck!

That’s about it for now. If I hurry, I might be able to catch a few cars before Andrew finds out I’m not on the leash.

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39 thoughts on “Danny’s Affinities…”

  2. Hi Danny, Pinky the Cat here. Um… chasing trucks, 18-wheelers or otherwise, is only going to get you squashed. And what would Andrew do without you? His career would be flattened, too. Think of him and all your fans. And good going on teaching Andrew verbal commands. Humans can learn with some patience.

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    • Hi Pinky,

      Some humans can learn with patience, but when speaking of Andrew … well … it’s been many years now and he’s still oblivious to most of my teachings. BUT … he’ll come along eventually.

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  7. Your training of Andrew seems to be going well, Danny. I’ve no doubt you’ll be up to 3 hot dogs fairly soon. If not, you can always resort to nip-and-glare. And if that doesn’t work, try whine-and-pout. The latter works like a charm for Buddy; he has had my sister trained for years. As to chasing anything with wheels… Although I’m not nearly as fast as you (I have only 2 legs, after all), I do understand the allure. Sitting on the floor and spinning a plate on edge is mesmerizing 🙂 ♥

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