Danny and the Viking Funeral

Posted on by Chris The Story Reading Ape

Danny and the Viking Funeral

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I’m not too happy with humankind at the moment, but I’ll say hello anyway. My name is Danny. To my legions of fans I am known as Danny the Dog.

Today I want to talk about my human. His name is Andrew and he is a real idiot! Andrew wants a Viking funeral. Do you know what a Viking funeral consists of? I didn’t think so, and neither did I until Andrew opened his big yap!

When a Viking died, they put him on his boat, set it afire and pushed it out into the fjord. Oh . . . and one more thing, they killed his dog and laid him at the feet of the dead Viking just so the guy could have his dog with him in Valhalla!

I mean . . . what the hell? What had the poor pooch done to warrant a death sentence?

I had a talk with Andrew last night and told him that if I went first into the “good night,” then I too want a Viking funeral. His buddies should kill him and put him at my feet before they set the boat ablaze.

And guess what? Big surprise, he didn’t think that was such a good idea. So we agreed to just have a simple non-denominational service regardless of who goes first. But if he keeps up with this Viking funeral stuff, it will probably be him . . . I’ll make sure of it.

BTW: Anyone leaving a comment will hear from me, Danny the Dog, personally, as long as the comment states how wonderful and charming I am. And if you want to throw in what a great story teller I am, I won’t argue…Danny

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Molly Lee

andrewjoyce.com

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TSRA

73 thoughts on “Danny and the Viking Funeral”

  1. Okay Danny the dog! Not only are you cute, charming & smart, you’re a great match for Andrew’s writing style. Know you’ve taken over the computer & gravatared your brand. Good for you! Keep up the friendly banter. You know a dog in a story draws a crowd of readers! Yep, you are popular! Wags & woofs from cute & charming dogs, Sammy & Charley (from their human Elizabeth)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Does Andrew write? Who would have thought it? Please give Sammy and Charley a message from me: DOGS OF THE WORLD, UNITE!!!! THROW OFF YOUR SHACKLES AND CHAINS (and collars) AND TAKE OVER THE COMPUTERS!!! iT’S THE ONLY WAY WE’LL GET EXTRA TREATS!!!! THOSE THAT CONTROL THE INFORMATION, CONTROL THE WORLD (and the treat allocations)!!!

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

    • Sorry to hear about Clio. To quoteth some guy that lived a long time ago: “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” He also said, “Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war,” but that has nothing to do with our current discussion. I just love that quote. Probably because it refers to dogs!

      By the way, to all my fans out there, I highly recommend Deke’s blog. He only puts up a post every three or four thousand years, but when he does, they are well worth waiting for. This guy is almost as smart as me.

      https://dekesolomon.wordpress.com/2014/03/12/clios-first-year-2/

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  5. Hi Danny, your story shows how charming you are. Perhaps you could agree that if you go first, you are treated as per your agreement but that maybe a small longship could be sent out in your honour bearing a photograph of you noble self. I’m sure it could be videod for you legions of fans to wail and gnash their teeth at.
    Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Thank you for noticing my greatness and my charm. And I like the way you refer to me as “your noble self”. I kinda like that. As to your idea about video taping my funeral. Well, I’ve left instructions that when I go, it’s to be kept a secret. I’m afraid that my fans will do more than just gnash their teeth. There would be renting of garments, covering in ashes, the world’s economy would crash. Presidents and kings would be brought low with grief. You get the idea. So it’s best that when I shuffle off this mortal coil, I do it quietly.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

  8. Dear Danny, you charming animal. Missus P and I do not share our home with an animal but, at our time of life, we do think about our funeral arrangements now and then. To be honest, being set afloat in a boat wouldn’t suit Mrs P at all; I have trouble getting her on board the ferry from Ireland to England. Our son lives with a nice lady and a female dog who is quite sick at the moment. I fear hey will be looking for a replacement soon. So, if Andrew carries on upsetting you, you can always count on a new home here in Ireland.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Hey Frank — Andrew and I both have Irish blood flowing in our veins. But he is just a regular mick, while I am a Son of Hibernia! I would love to run around the green fields of the old sod at least once before Valhalla calls.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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