Good morning, Gentle Reader. I am Danny the Dog, bon vivant, literary genius and all around good doggie. I live on a boat with my human in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, and when I can sneak in a little computer time, I write a blog. I lead such an adventurous life, one might think my stories are fiction, but I assure you they are all true.
Of course, I am quite famous and have legions of adoring fans. Everyone loves me. Below you will find my annual Christmas message.
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Danny’s Christmas Message
Merry Christmas to all you dog lovers out there. It is I, Danny the Dog, here to impart—as usual—my wisdom to you frail humans. I’d rather be imparting my wisdom directly to my canine brothers and sisters, but it seems that I am the only dog that I know of that can read, never mind write.
It’s been a hectic year. I’ve been training my human to obey my commands. I thought we had that settled last year, but obviously he needed some retraining.
As you all know, it’s all about me, so on second thought, Christmas, Smistmas. This is what I have to say.
Three weeks ago, as I was walking my human, we ran into a giant Rottweiler. Now, I’m an easygoing kind of dog. I believe in live and let live as long as I’m in charge. So, I very politely informed the brute that this was my marina and I was the top dog. I couldn’t have been more pleasant. Well, I did jump up on him to make my point.
I guess he misunderstood my intentions, because he went crazy on me. The next thing I knew, his massive jaws were biting into me. Then he got a hold of my leg. I figured that was it. From then on, they would be calling me Three-Leg Danny.
But you know what happened? My useless human, who goes by the name of Andrew, jumped in and tried to save me. I say tried because he really is useless. Yes, he did get the monster off me before he crushed my leg, but in doing so, Andrew received a bite on the inside of his thigh. He told me later that if it had been two inches to the north he’d be singing soprano in the church choir.
The outcome: I couldn’t walk and Andrew got infected from the bite he sustained. But do not fear, we are on the mend. At least I am. Andrew dithers between taking his antibiotics and drinking vodka. I think the vodka is winning out.
That is my Christmas message. I am sure there were many other things happening in the world over the past year, but they pale in comparison to my adventures.
Danny the Dog . . . over and out.
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
NOTE:
You can catch up with any Danny the Dog Posts you may have missed, by any of the following three means:
Clicking on the Danny the Dog Tales tag at the bottom of his posts
The Categories Cloud in the right column and clicking on Danny the Dog Tales
Typing Danny into the Search box top right of blog and Enter or Return
TSRA
Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog 
Reblogged this on Barrow Blogs: .
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Thank you for spreading the greatness that is Danny the Dog. Besides being so handsome, smart, kind, thrifty, and brave, I am also very humble.
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I hope you and Andrew soon feel better. Roxy sends you a big doggy hug too 😊
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Do you have Roxy’s phone number?
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Haha! I daren’t give it to you, she is a frisky little girl! 😊
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Reblogged this on Anita Dawes & Jaye Marie and commented:
best Christmas wishes to you and yours too!
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I’m sure your comment was all about how handsome I am. Thank you.
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handsome and clever too…
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Reblogged this on Kim's Author Support Blog.
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Don’t forget to tell your readers who’s the best doggie in the whole wide world. Just in case there’s any doubt, it’s me . . . (drum roll) Danny the Dog!
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Merry Christmas and hope you and your human heal quickly.
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Thanks, Charles. I’m sporting around because I followed my doctor’s orders. Andrew threw out his anti-thingys and put his trust in vodka. It seems to be working.
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Vodka is a powerful tonic. Tends to have the same level of drowsiness that medicines do too.
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The computer decided to send the previous part of my message without my permission – or maybe it was my paws. What happened to the dog that bit you both? I know it can be serious when a dog bites a human. Oh well, anyway, you’re OK and I can yip a Merry Christmas!
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Hi Angel. — The Rotty’s human and my human had a few words, but then they became friends and when he left town for two weeks guess who babysat his damn dog? Everytime I see that monster, I bark my head off at him. I want to go another round. I would have had him if Andrew hadn’t interfered.
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Angel here. I’m glad to hear you are OK, oh, and of course, your human, too. W
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Haha, funny post. Loved it! Lexi here, my masters better half writes n recently as in yesterday she let the cutey patutey Alfalfa, er, I mean Blaze come back. Gloria Halleluja! That little tyke revs my engine; we play nonstop. It’s going to be a Merry Christmas.
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Hi Lexi — I think play is over rated. I like to sit in the shade of an old oak tree and contemplate the nature of the universe. I’m fascinated by String Theory and the eleven dimensions thing! Probability Theory is cool too.
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Lucy the boxer here. I’ll tell you what I do when these big dogs get out of hand. I take off and do the 100 yard dash in under four seconds. To get speed you lower your rear end and dig like crazy.
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Hi Lucy (what a nice name) — Maybe your way is better for females, but I’m Danny the Dog. It would never do for me to run away. Now, Andrew runs away from confrontations all the time. He’s such a sissy!
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Lucky he has you.
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Well hello, Danny, Bobby Dog here. Seasons greetings to you. Did you forget I can also read and write? My computer skills aren’t too hot though – my human guards the machine and I can only sneak on here when she is making a cup of tea. My human and I had a similar encounter with a Rotty a couple of years ago. I went charging towards it to assert myself, as you do, with my human in hot pursuit. The Rotty’s human started shouting that it was all right his dog wouldn’t hurt me. Can you imagine my chagrin when inches from my quarry my human scooped me up saying she wasn’t worried about me but that I would hurt the Rotty? I was so affronted I intended to ignore her for the rest of the day. On reflection I realized she was only trying to keep me out of trouble and forgave her.
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Forgot my human’s details
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Sometimes I wish I could forget my human . . . period!!!
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That Rotty doesn’t know how lucky he was. Talk about dodging the bullet!
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I tried twice to reply to you (see below or above or wherever) but the comment comes out as separate. If it happens again, I’ll have to send my new best friend Big Boy (the Rotty) over to have a little talk with Mr. Ape.
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It appeared twice Danny – so I deleted one 😀
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