Good morning, Gentle Reader. I am Danny the Dog, bon vivant, literary genius and all around good doggie. I live on a boat with my human in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, and when I can sneak in a little computer time, I write a blog. I lead such an adventurous life, one might think my stories are fiction, but I assure you they are all true.
Of course, I am quite famous and have legions of adoring fans. Everyone loves me. Below you will find my annual Christmas message.
Danny’s Christmas Message
Merry Christmas to all you dog lovers out there. It is I, Danny the Dog, here to impart—as usual—my wisdom to you frail humans. I’d rather be imparting my wisdom directly to my canine brothers and sisters, but it seems that I am the only dog that I know of that can read, never mind write.
It’s been a hectic year. I’ve been training my human to obey my commands. I thought we had that settled last year, but obviously he needed some retraining.
As you all know, it’s all about me, so on second thought, Christmas, Smistmas. This is what I have to say.
Three weeks ago, as I was walking my human, we ran into a giant Rottweiler. Now, I’m an easygoing kind of dog. I believe in live and let live as long as I’m in charge. So, I very politely informed the brute that this was my marina and I was the top dog. I couldn’t have been more pleasant. Well, I did jump up on him to make my point.
I guess he misunderstood my intentions, because he went crazy on me. The next thing I knew, his massive jaws were biting into me. Then he got a hold of my leg. I figured that was it. From then on, they would be calling me Three-Leg Danny.
But you know what happened? My useless human, who goes by the name of Andrew, jumped in and tried to save me. I say tried because he really is useless. Yes, he did get the monster off me before he crushed my leg, but in doing so, Andrew received a bite on the inside of his thigh. He told me later that if it had been two inches to the north he’d be singing soprano in the church choir.
The outcome: I couldn’t walk and Andrew got infected from the bite he sustained. But do not fear, we are on the mend. At least I am. Andrew dithers between taking his antibiotics and drinking vodka. I think the vodka is winning out.
Danny the Dog . . . over and out.
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
You can catch up with any Danny the Dog Posts you may have missed, by any of the following three means:
Clicking on the Danny the Dog Tales tag at the bottom of his posts
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