Zoe Visits the Vet
Good evening, my friends. I hope you had a wonderful day. Mine wasn’t that great. Before I tell you why, let me–for the sake of any new readers out there–introduce myself. I am Zoe the Fabulous Feline. And to all fans, I will let you in on a little secret: My nickname is “Fast Cat” because I can turn from calm to stormy faster than a New York minute. Anyway, back to my point. Which is that I had a bad day and I’ll tell you why.
Emily (my human) got out the cat carrier last night. There’s only one place I get driven to in that thing, so I knew what bringing it out meant: I was going to the vet’s the next day, probably for a nail clipping. Why did I think it was for a clipping? Easy. I reached out my paw to pat Emily’s thigh yesterday morning, like I always do when I just want a little attention, and she yelped like a puppy whose tail had been stepped on.
Now, my human loves to get her nails manicured. The reason I tell you this is that it’s important to know that I have nothing against nails getting “done.” As long as they are her nails. She can get them clipped, cut, filed, painted—whatever she wants—but, please—can anyone explain to me why I must be subjected to such barbarism?
I really abhor being clipped. I mean, it feels sooooo good to dig my long claws into someone . . . ah, I mean . . . something . . . like my scratch posts—and sometimes the sofa (but please don’t tell Emily). Of course, there comes a time when my claws do get a bit too long and start to curl into my little foot pads. And that hurts like heck! So, occasionally I will put up with the torture of being clipped. But I don’t like it and I have to make sure I let everyone know, and that includes the staff at the vet’s office. I mean, it’s all about dominance, right? Maintaining control and the upper paw.
Emily thought she could fool me by throwing a cover over the carrier. Foolish human. I saw, I knew, I hid. But, OK, I admit that the next morning, that is, earlier today, I allowed her to find me and place me in the carrier. I do enjoy getting out of the house once in a while, even though the only time I get out is to visit the vet.
The vet does manage to trim my nails, but I don’t make it easy for him. Nope, I sure don’t! Here’s how my nail appointments go and today was no different: An assistant holds me down while the vet works on my nails. But not until they don those long gloves; in fact, they don’t even approach the carrier until they have those on. Smart move.
You see, the first time they met me, I was sweet and calm as could be. Until they got out their torture tools and reached for my paw. I was not happy about that and let them know in no uncertain terms. They don’t call me “Fast Cat” for nothing.
I complained loudly all the way home. Emily tried to make up with me but I wasn’t having it. I know it pains her to hear me cry and vocalize my anger, and so she tries to calm me down with baby talk. But I was holding out, figuring I could get some treats out of this, and she didn’t let me down. I gave her hand a little lick to show that I forgave her.
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Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog 
Well Zoe, that sounds like a real pain. Sorry you had to go through that, but at least you still have your claws. Some cats I know don’t.
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That is true, Ms Gill…..sad but true. I can’t even imagine it! Thanks for reading my story.
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You’re very tolerant, Zoe. I’m glad you got some treats out of the whole ordeal. I shared your story on all my social network pages, attempting to garner you some sympathy. Hope it works 🙂
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Hi Tina, thank you for the shares, I appreciate it! I think you’ve communicated with me before, on this site, but…wait…yes! Now I know where I saw your name!! It’s on a really pretty book cover sitting on my human’s end table. It’s a beautiful book cover. By the way, Emily says to tell you she likes the story and your writing style, and is eager to finish and write a review.
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Thank you for relaying the message, Zoe. You’re now my favorite feline 🙂
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This is Rocky, Susan’s old dog. I have to go to the vet every two weeks for some kind of pinch in my butt. They say it’s for my “arthritis,” but I don’t know what that is. Anyway, just today we were there, and while I was investigating the waiting room thoroughly, enjoying every hint of a new smell, I could hear a very, Very, VERY angry feline through the door. Really, that feline was so vocal—snarling and hissing and shrieking—that it made me quite nervous. But then the usual nice lady came and took me behind another door. Thank goodness it wasn’t behind that feline’s door! She pinched me when I wasn’t looking—I was trying to smell the new smells there—but it wasn’t too bad and then my mama and me went home.
No Burger King on the way home, though, this time. Shucks.
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Hey Rocky…..what’s your vet’s name? ‘Cause I’m quite sure that was me! ::::hiss and spit:::::
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Hello again, Rocky! I was just here, looking at some new comments, and I realized that I did NOT commiserate with you about that butt pinch, how rude of me! Happy to hear, though, that it wasn’t too bad…she was smart to catch you when you were busy sniffing around!
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Good for you, Zoe. You put up a good fight. Can’t let these humans think they have the upper hand. I’m Dickens and sort of new to this household. My human has been talking about taking me in for a manicure, she calls it. I’m a Tom–pul-eeze. A manicure? *rolls eyes*
She yelled at me cause she walked in when I gave the sofa a little scratch. What gives around here. I’m proud for you. Hope you were given lots of treats afterwards. =^_^= Meow.
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Hi Dickens! I like to think I am sophisticated and open-minded. But a mani for a Tom??!! Foolish human. Forget my treats (though she was quite generous) – here’s a little piece of advice: The best time to scratch a sofa is in the middle of the night (or whenever your human sleeps)!
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Fantastic advice. I sleep a lot, especially at night. What do you do to wake up in the middle of the night…Oh, I know! Drink lots of water so you have to go pee in the night. Ha! I bet you never thought I’d come up with that. I didn’t either.
So Zoe. I didn’t mean to act so familiar–You are cute–any chance we can, you know, get together? =^_^= Meow
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Oh, you must sleep during the day when they are around and stay awake at night….and if you’re feeling particularly feisty, or need to do some payback, vocalize – A LOT! – to keep them awake too. Don’t worry, if they are like most humans, they will just curse you from the comfort of their bed and therefore you will still have the freedom to do what you’ve got to do. Thank you for your kind compliment….in terms of getting together….what the dickens??!!
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Better days are coming, Zoe! Hope your nails grow more slowly from now on. 🙂
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Deanie, I try to pull them out myself, that’s how much I hate being clipped! But when she sees my claws on the floor, she thinks it means that they got so long they bothered me and so she makes the call. I can’t win for the losing!
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Aw, Zoe, that was a terrible day! I NEVER get my claws clipped because I am outside part of the day and my humans say I need to be able to fight off wild animals like the coyotes in the neighborhood. Luckily they are largely nocturnal and I have to come inside at 5 PM anyway. But I DO loving digging my post and a lot of the furniture when my humans aren’t looking. They don’t like that very much.
Your friend,
Elijah Moon
PS I know about those carriers – I never know if I’m going to the vet or traveling up to the lake house, So I cry anyway.
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Sometimes I wish your humans would adopt me! My human will not let me out. She’s not afraid for me, she knows I can take care of myself! It’s the fleas and ticks she fears. It’s all about her, you know? Anyway, Elijah Moon, you sure are a lucky dog (so to speak)….you get to go outside AND you get to avoid clippings. And what is it with humans and furniture, anyway? It’s just stuff that sits around, why shouldn’t it serve a higher purpose?
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Good for you Zoe. Those damn humans don’t understand the need for dependable tools when those pesky canines come around. Hope you held out for tuna. This is John’s feline Frankie. I don’t have a site so I have to borrow the bosses’. When I hit send I’m going to walk all over the keyboard. I hope he saved his last edit.
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No canines in this house, Frankie my friend. Thank goodness! I like ’em alright, but they have their place. And it’s not in MY place. Anyway, you, Frankie, are one sneaky feline! I love it!! ::::Cheshire grin::::
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*Purrrrrrrrrrr* Wait, is that the refrigerator door opening? See ya later Zoe
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Smart move! meoooow…..
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Bless her! Jumble, my dog, was outraged and full of woofing sympathy, when he read this. Over to him:
‘Plenty licks, Zoe. Own Gods? They barking mad. Me like plenty long nails; they good for digging old bone out of Gar Den and taking skin off wild rabbit (don’t tell Ali!). Me glad you showed God who boss – you! – and did licky thing at end, cos they always melt , don’t they, silly billies! S’funny: they fink they own us, ha ha! Woofs and stuff. Down with VETS. Now, if I chase you, don’t take it purse-nall – dogs keep cats fit! Bark, whine, woof, etc.’
xxx
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Jumble, bumble, you are so humble! And you are correct, they DO melt when we give ’em a lick….humans are so easy! Thank you for reading my story and liking it. But that doesn’t change one fact….I would let you chase me til I caught you. meoooooooowie!
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We all have to go to the vet at one time or another. So suck it up, but I like how you parleyed it into getting treats.
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A simple truth, Danny-boy. But maybe you heard? The simple truth ain’t simple when it’s sad. And yep, I have learned how to get my treats, and I’ll bet you have your own secret ways to get what you want from your human! Right? I know I am!
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Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
Cats vs Vets usually does not end well for the vet…. and certainly when Zoe goes for a mani/pedi health and safety are on alert.
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😀 😀 😀 Thanks for sharing the fun Sally – Hugs 😀
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Thank you for the reblog, Sally! Exposure is a good thing. Except when it’s my claws. Before I start to hiss and spit, I hide a big smile when I see the vet put on that protective gear. Does my heart good. hehehehe
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My pleasure Zoe, my dog Sam was placid, loving and adored people but he recognised the thermometer in the vets for the medieval torture it truly was and would have that arm off in a flash! keep them on their toes while they tend to yours.
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LOL…whatever that is (I see Emily’s Facebook posts–she seems to use that whenever something strikes her funny, and your note sure did that for me). “Medieval torture” says it all, Sam was a very smart cookie! But my most favorite part of your post is the ending. And of course I do my best to do just that!
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