on Jane Friedman site:

Over the last two decades, I’ve participated in and moderated many workshops and critique groups. I will never forget stopping in the bathroom after an MFA workshop session concluded, only to run into a classmate whose work was just discussed. She’d sequestered herself there, sobbing. Something in the workshop we’d just attended had touched a deep nerve for her, and it didn’t seem like it felt good.

Writing workshops and critique groups are great—I run a longstanding one! They can be places of insight and growth. They can also be places where human nature gets the best of us, and all sorts of emotions enter the critique room. Writers who share their work are vulnerable folks—they’re putting not only their work out there, but also something of themselves.

With vulnerability comes the possibility of getting hurt. While sitting through a critique of your writing might be uncomfortable, it shouldn’t leave you feeling icky, distressed, or persecuted. You should leave a workshop feeling invigorated, not defeated. If a group discussion of your writing makes you regret sharing it or unsettles you deeply (think of my MFA colleague), then something’s gone wrong.

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