No Flies On This Feline – by Zoe the Cat…

Posted on by Chris The Story Reading Ape

No Flies On This Feline

Greetings, friends! Zoe here with a “good news/bad news” story for your reading pleasure. To those of you who don’t know me from Adam—or I should say, from Eve—allow me a brief introduction. My name is Zoe, and I live with my human, Emily. I write stories about my adventures, but sometimes my adventures are not all that much fun.

For example, take my trips to the veterinarian to get my nails trimmed. These outings are an adventure alright—for the staff. For me, not so much. For me, they are pure agony. I’ve written about this before, but during my most recent visit, something different happened and that’s what I want to tell you about today. However, for you to fully appreciate this story, you need to know what happened at a previous appointment.

Several weeks ago, while on my way to the torture chamber to get my claws clipped, I thought about how I had endured enough of this indignity. So, I decided that, once there, I would be even more recalcitrant than usual. (Recalcitrant is a five-dollar word meaning refractory, which is a six-dollar word meaning … oh, forget it.)

Anyway, I planned to be so difficult, the wannabe Torquemadas would put me back in my carrying case and send me home just to be rid of me—leaving my nails as they were when I arrived. I imagined the vet apologizing to Emily that, although they had enjoyed caring for me and would miss me, no future appointments could be made because their healthcare company did not insure against being mauled by over-the-top-angry cats.

But, alas, that did not happen.

Instead, after my nails had been clipped, the technician handed me and a small bottle to Emily. Pointing to the bottle, she said, “Be sure to give Zoe a dose of that before bringing her in for the next visit. We prescribe this for all our patients who are a bit—shall we say—rambunctious.”

When we got home, Emily put the bottle in the refrigerator, and I forgot about it until a few days ago, which brings us back to today’s story, when Emily took out my carrying case and then tried to trick me. Allow me to put it this way—she dished out my favorite food, retrieved that bottle from the refrigerator, and mixed a few drops from it into my food before putting it down before me.

I don’t know why she was surprised when I turned up my nose and walked away. I mean, do I look stupid? She tampered with it right in front of me! But even if I hadn’t seen her do it, I would have smelled the strange odor emanating from the food bowl. I knew the vet’s office was mad at me, but . . . to poison me? That seemed like an extreme reaction. No matter—there ain’t no flies on this feline! I knew enough to not take even a tiny taste.

She didn’t try any other tomfoolery to entice me to eat the suspect food, but she did manage to trick me onto her lap and lickety-split, I was in the carrier and on my way to the dreaded vet’s office.

At the beginning of this gabfest, I promised you a good news/bad news story. I’ll give you the bad news first.

Because Emily had been unable to get me to ingest the mystery liquid (which I learned was only a sedative), the visit was like all previous visits. A disaster for all of us. The vet’s staff dragged me, figuratively speaking, into the backroom of horrors, and donned so much protective gear they looked like aliens. Two held me down while the vet clipped my beautiful, sharp nails. I was beyond miserable when they returned me to Emily.

Back in the car, Emily tried to soothe me with her insipid baby talk that she thinks I like. She put her hand against the net of the carrying case, as if to comfort me. But I wasn’t having any of it. I let out with the loudest hiss I ever hissed. At the same time, my paw became like a cobra, lashing out fast and furiously. Emily ignored my temper tantrum, started the car, and headed for home. When we got there, she gave me treats, and I felt a little better.

Now for the good news: Emily promised that I would never have to have my nails trimmed again. About damn time, if you ask me!

Zoe & Emily both live HERE

Zoe’s Facebook Page is HERE

Emily’s Facebook Page is HERE

Emily’s Sunrise Editing Services

sunrise_photo3-758x194

NOTE:

You can catch up with any Zoe the Cat Posts you may have missed, by any of the following three means:

Clicking on the Zoe the Cat tag at the bottom of her posts

Typing Zoe into the Search box top right of blog and Enter or Return

44 thoughts on “No Flies On This Feline – by Zoe the Cat…”

  1. Hi, Zoe! You should come and hang out with my cats. Here is a list of my cats…
    #1: ButterScotch (girl)
    #2: Tiger ( Girl)
    #3: Louise (girl)
    #4: Louie ( Boy)
    #5: Spot (Boy) ( He has almost died 3 times now but still alive)

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  2. Clipping a cat’s nails is outright abuse. When a human decides to share their house with a cat, they should cat-proof the house, not house-proof the cat! I’m so glad you stood your ground, Miss Zoe ❤️

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

    • Wasn’t trying to cat proof the house, just believed the vet’s when she said that, if you didn’t trim their nails, they grew so long that they’d curl inward and into the foot pad, causing pain. Since she’s not an outdoor cat, she’s not on rough enough surfaces to keep the nails filed down naturally. So they said…and it made sense to me. BUT after this last visit….no more!!

      Liked by 3 people

      Reply

      • It was the vet’s fault, Em, not yours. I too believed the vet, until I had a horrible experience when my first cat died. Then I started checking other authorities online before I made any decisions. It’s a shame to have to experience heartbreak or a fiasco because the ones who are supposed to know what’s best, really don’t. Though it seems Zoe knew ❤️

        Liked by 2 people

        Reply

  4. Zoe, honey, chickie, sweetie… I used to LOVE having my nails done. Perhaps, the Vet needs to provide a cocktail, great background music and of course a comfy place to sit. True, I went on my own accord, not having to be tricked into a carry case… Still, you come with me one day and we’ll have a “girls day” I promise, it will be fun. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    • It would be fun! I had pink nails once, Miss Annette. Of course, I chewed ’em off….no fake nails for this fabulous feline. But I guess it was better than being tortured. But the key thing here is….I wouldn’t have to be tricked if you ran the Nails by Vet’s Shop!

      Liked by 3 people

      Reply

  10. A cat will tell you what it likes or dislikes and a wise person pays attention to that. Woe to the one who is on the bad side of a cat. Hugs

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    • You must own a feline, Scottie? At any rate, you are so correct. My human once said (but I think she read it somewhere, ’cause I’m not at all sure she’s clever enough to have come up with this on her own), “Never get into a fight with your cat. You will lose.” ::::Cheshire grin::::

      Liked by 3 people

      Reply

      • Hello Zoe. I am owned by two felines right now. They are grand and have taught me well. I have tried to express my wishes and views to them, and sometimes they take that as a nice suggestion. Mostly they explain to me that they are positive they are correct on things and expect me to catch up. Love your stories and adventures. Hugs

        Liked by 2 people

        Reply

Leave a reply to Zoe the Fabulous Feline Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.