How Common is Courtesy? – Guest Post by, Annette Rochelle Aben …

Posted on by The Story Reading Ape

September

is

National Courtesy Month.

Gee, I would think this would great if it were every month, if not every DAY! Okay, so let’s look at one way we can demonstrate courteous behavior. After all, if we are going to be invited to a party, we might as well be the best guest.

Holding Doors Open

As I am someone who walks with a walker, this is a major deal. The distance between my body and what is on the other side of the walker is usually 18 inches. There are times when I am in between the handles of the walker, so that may be 12 inches but that distance can make it a struggle to open a door, especially when going OUT of a building. I push the door, hold it with the walker, then take a hand and push it a bit more, then move the walker a bit more. Once I am close enough, I can use my head to push the door open even more, while moving the walker forward. And don’t you know there are times the wheels and skis on the walker can get caught on a welcome mat, so that means I must pay even more attention to the walker as opposed to the door, which is usually trying to close on me at the same time.

Yes, I can be a major source of entertainment for passersby however, the struggle is real and apparent because of the walker. There are people whose needs do not show themselves as readily and they, too, could use a hand with a door. To hold the door for someone takes a moment, or it may take several moments of your time. But the dignity it allows, is priceless. You can make a kind comment, such as, “Here, let me get that for you.” Or mention the weather, perhaps compliment them on their hat or smile. Engaging someone in this way, may help take the edge off how helpless they might feel and show that they have nothing to feel self-conscious about. Many people could use the help but they won’t ask for it for fear of being rejected.

Someone whose arms are filled with parcels, children or an animal would greatly appreciate having a door held. Those who have had their strength zapped from illness, anxiety or exhaustion might just perk up to be on the receiving end of such a kindness. Rather than having to HAVE a REASON, why not make it a habit to grab the door for someone else. If for no other reason, then it’s just common courtesy.

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46 thoughts on “How Common is Courtesy? – Guest Post by, Annette Rochelle Aben …”

  1. A lovely post, Annette. Common courtesy in any situation is such an easy thing to do and rarely takes more than a few moments of time. Open the door, carry the groceries, pick up something dropped, and on and on – there are so many ways we can help one another, but how many people choose not to?

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  3. Great post, Annette. I appreciate when people offer to help me reach things on high shelves at the supermarket because I am short. I try to help others when I see a need. Common courtesy should never be dead. If we all spread some kindness it can be catchy. Thank you for being such a special person. There should be more people like you out there. ❤️

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  4. Pingback: Writing Links…9/4/17 – Where Genres Collide

    • Awesome, thank you for the comment. I really believe that many people don’t want to assume that someone needs help, because there is something to be said for allowing a person their dignity. This is our world to enjoy and I happen to enjoy being kind. ❤

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    • Agreed. I have seen just as many senior citizens, breeze past me as younger folks, stopping to help. Being a senior citizen myself, it makes me wonder. But then I think, perhaps they are fighting a battle I cannot see, so I bless them and move on.

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  8. I hold the door for my elderly mother at stores, restaurants, senior centers, libraries, and so on, and it amazes me that about 1/4 of the people coming behind us go right in after her and leave me holding the door for the whole procession. Then I have to make my way through them to catch up to my mother. Most of the time though people relieve me and take care of themselves. However, I don’t like it when someone makes a big deal of holding the door for her and me. When I was wearing a back brace people rushed to open the door and offered to carry my parcels, and it rankled me. Sometimes we need to be attentive without a fuss, so people can ask for help, or not.

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    • Amen! I believe that be making accessible to all, you show respect for people. There are many a business I have not been able to patronize because of their restrictive conditions. Of course, they don’t really know what to say to me but at least they are aware. I am not a minority, I am in the majority of the population. It’s because so many cannot get in and out of places safely that they are not visible, therefore, many businesses imagine there aren’t that many.

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  11. I know I was raised to reach out and help others and be courteous to everyone. If this has been lost to generations behind us, it has to be in part our fault. If we didn’t instill it in our children, we can’t expect them to instill it in theirs. Kindness and respect are learned reactions within society. I haven’t lost hope on humanity, look what’s going on in Texas as a result of the storm. People are sharing respect, love, and helping each other. I don’t think we have lost courtesy, we just have to be reminded once in a while. Thanks Annette for reminding us. HUGS

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  13. My father has opened every door for my Mother and us four girls ever since I can remember on every occasion. If my Dad isn’t with us then I open the door for my Mother and make sure she is safely in the car. I did forget to check her hand luggage yesterday with the disastrous result that a number of her cosmetic and sanitary items were confiscated at the airport. I won’t be forgetting again as it caused her a lot of distress and I felt so bad.

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  15. Pingback: How Common is Courtesy? – Guest Post by, Annette Rochelle Aben … | Annette Rochelle Aben
  16. Pingback: How Common is Courtesy? – Guest Post by, Annette Rochelle Aben … | Campbells World

  17. Living in the suburbs of London (Crystal Palace/Upper Norwood), and working in central London, I am amazed by the amount of courtesy shown by most people in often rather stressful situations. In general Londoners will stop to direct tourists who are lost and, being blind I can almost always find someone ready and willing to assist me in crossing busy roads. On the other hand the vast crowds and delays on public transport can (and do) lead to people losing their tempers. Sadly I have witnessed people verbally abusing staff on the barriers of train and underground stations due to trains running late or being cancelled. The abuse is wholly unacceptable and, in any case it is not the fault of those manning the ticket barriers (they are just a convenient scapegoat for people’s anger). For my part, I do hold doors for people and always try to be polite. We British have a great tradition of having our foot stood on and apologising to the person who has trod upon it …!

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  18. Absitively! It used to be COMMON to hold the door for the person behind you (even when perfectly “abled”) – so what happened? More to the point – how do we get *at least* that much going again? Great post.
    xx,
    mgh
    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
    ADD/EFD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
    “It takes a village to transform a world!”

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  19. I walk with crutches and though I can manage the door I do appreciate the courtesies.I in turn like to practice the same gladly. There’s nothing designed to get my goat more quickly though than not to be acknowledged. To have perfectly healthy people walk through without a thank you instead of perhaps taking the door and allowing me to continue on my way, shows a total lack of manners in society. Maybe it’s time to have manners, care and compassion as subjects at school.
    Hugs

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    • It’s funny, but I am forever holding doors for people, reaching for things on the tops of shelves because people can’t do it for themselves and I figure, it’s just what you do. The photo at the top of the post, is of my family. My mom, two of her siblings and their spouses. They taught us about courtesy, manners, etc. and I am ever grateful.

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  20. As a person who walks with a cane or a walker or sometimes in a wheelchair I understand this very well. When I am well enough to walk or have the strength to hold doors or reach things for people I do so. I was in the grocery store a year ago walking with a cane when I noticed an elderly lady in a wheelchair trying her best to hold open a freezer door and reach something just out of her hand. You would have thought I was her favorite child when I first asked to help and then retrieved the item for her. Later as Ron and I were getting in our van she rolled by us waving at us. We made an impression for a 20 second act on my part. It does make a difference. Hugs

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