
Image is courtesy of Lucie Stastkova
When faced with an inexorable problem where emotions run high, knowing what to do can be a challenge. Rational thinking becomes obfuscated, forcing us into a holding pattern of circular thought.
Anger wants to place blame on others. Obsession with fine points masks the big picture. Abject frustration insists we bury our heads in the sand. Emotions churn and become ill-defined. Focus obscures. Common sense derails. Indigestion, insomnia, or worse take up residence.
None of these gets us anywhere. All of them threaten our sanity and plunge us into a maelstrom of inimical emotion. What to do?
Taking in a few deep breaths is a good first step toward relaxing. Listening to soothing music, meditating, or taking a long bath are a few ways to ease the constriction felt in the midsection. Relaxing the body helps mitigate mental and emotional distress. We all know this. But remembering to do it while in the heat of muddled emotion can be an ambitious undertaking.
After relaxing and to ensure continued clearing, it’s often wise to table problem-solving for a few hours or even a few days. Temporary distraction can be a lifesaver. Go to the movies. Visit with friends. Write. Do arts and crafts. All of these activities are superior to spinning our wheels and ultimately losing traction. Diverting attention away from obsessing helps clear chaotic debris and make way for rational thought.
An optimist by nature, I usually see the glass as half full. Is there a lesson being offered that I might benefit from learning? Is this an opportunity to expand and foster equilibrium?
When asking myself these questions, I sometimes find raw emotions rearing their heads and doing their damnedest to pull my thoughts back toward the negative. But the hiatus I’d taken from the problem usually pays off, affording me the clarity needed to focus my intention on finding a positive solution.
So what is it that hinders our accepting a problem as a life lesson and opportunity for growth? What’s the trade-off for wallowing in chaos?
Might it be the need for validation? Seeking validation from others can become an addiction if we consistently deny our own power. Might it be fear of the unknown? Dwelling within the familiar can become an addiction if we repeatedly refuse to break new ground. Might it be the need for love and nurturing? Searching for love by drawing attention to our suffering can become an addiction if we fail to see our connection to all around us.
When we look outside of ourselves to meet our needs, we’re seeking validation for our very existence; we’re failing to recognize life itself as validation enough.
How do we get off this self-destructive, self-denying merry-go-round? When stymied or utterly distraught, I fall back on my mantra:
The way out is the way in.

Image is courtesy of Lucie Stastkova
Am I willing to confront fear and tackle the challenge facing me? Am I willing to stand in my power, ready to own what is mine and shed what is not? Am I willing to break the cycle of codependence and let go of behavior that doesn’t serve?
Therein lies the rub. Releasing can be much more difficult than acquiring. Indulging old habits and behavior reserves our place in familiar territory. If we walk away, where will we go? If we give up addiction, what will fill the void?
For most of us, fear of the unknown thwarts the best intentions; yet it can be a valuable adversary.
Seldom can we control how a new experience will play out. Truth be told, we often feel we’re merely along for the ride! But the ride itself is the opportunity. It’s a crack in the cement of a self-serving belief system that keeps us addicted to fear and chaos. It’s a gift from the Universe, daring us to tread beyond our comfort zone.
What we can control are the choices we make. And these choices are determined by attitude. Will we continue to curse the problem and kick up the dust of fear and chaos? Or will we meet the challenge and see it as a lesson offering us a chance to expand and become greater than we ever thought possible?
The question boils down to this: What attitude am I sporting? Attitude defines intention. It determines willingness, or lack thereof, to shed our old skin and reveal the tender beauty beneath.
Our spirits deserve the opportunity to experience all that the Universe has to offer. That’s why we incarnated in the first place – to grow ever wiser and share our light with the world.
If we’re willing to brazen out fear and dive into living, an inexplicable and troubling problem can serve as a vehicle for growth.
The Earth is a schoolhouse. We chose to incarnate here in order to become enlightened. Aspiring to enlightenment necessitates leaving familiar territory. Abandoning the familiar can be frightening. By recognizing fear as the root of a problem, we’re able to face the problem as a lesson, and then turn that lesson into an opportunity for spiritual growth.
The way out of fear is the way in to gratitude. When our hearts are open, our bodies relax, our minds expand, our emotions lighten, and our spirits radiate joy. When seated in gratitude, we become pure love. Viewed through the eyes of love, everything is seen as an opportunity, and nothing is seen as impossible…
Until the next time, my friends… Namaste ❤

Amazon:
Oh my gosh, this is one of the most astute, knowledgeable, well-thought-out assertions on learning to think through anger, fear and self doubt. Fantastic! K D
LikeLiked by 4 people
Thank you so much for your lovely comment, Karen 💜
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh, thank you, I need to copy this, if that is okay and reblog too. I would like to send to a few family members and friends. Karen 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’d be honored to have you share this, Karen 💜
LikeLiked by 1 person
Excellent post filled with wise counsel Thanks, Tina. 🙂
LikeLiked by 3 people
You’re welcome, Bette. And thank you for visiting 💜
LikeLiked by 2 people
Reblogged this on Don Massenzio's Blog and commented:
Check out this great post from Tina Frisco from The Story Reading Ape Blog.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thanks for reblogging, Don 😃
LikeLiked by 2 people
You’re welcome
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks so much, Don. I appreciate your support 💜
LikeLiked by 2 people
You’re welcome
LikeLiked by 2 people
This is a wonderful article, Tina! It is carefully thought out, clearly presented, and eloquently written. Thank you for sharing this wisdom! Thanks for hosting Tina, Chris!
LikeLiked by 3 people
You’re welcome, John. I appreciate your continued support more than I can say. Thank you so much for your lovely comment and for reblogging with such a cognizant intro. Blessings, my friend 💜
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome, Tina – my pleasure!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Reblogged this on Words To Captivate ~ by John Fioravanti and commented:
Tina Frisco poses an excellent question for our contemplation. How best to react to the challenges of the curriculum of life? Join Tina as she leads us through a well thought out response to difficulties that vex us – and please, read on…
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thanks for reblogging, John 😃
LikeLiked by 2 people
You’re welcome, Chris – happy to support!
LikeLiked by 2 people
This rocks! Tina, honey, chickie, sweetie, baby… YOU have a voice, fueled by wisdom and are so very appreciated! ❤
LikeLiked by 4 people
Darlin’ Annette, you bring sunshine into my life and into the lives of so many. Feel a big hug and much love 💜
LikeLiked by 2 people
Tina is one of the most wisely wonderful ladies I have come to know. Her attitude is a shining beacon. SO it is lovely to read her words today. And they are spot on too xxxx
LikeLiked by 4 people
My lovely Shey, you are a sweetheart. That our paths have crossed is no accident. Thank you for your heartfelt comment and for the continued amusement you provide with your rascally dudes. Love and hugs, dear one 💜
LikeLiked by 2 people
My darling, I am so glad our paths have crossed. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx I meant what I said x Big hugs to you.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
Tina Frisco joins the Story Reading Ape today and shares her thoughts and strategies of resolving challenges that face us by making some changes to our attitudes and reactions.. ‘The earth is a schoolhouse’ how very true.
LikeLiked by 5 people
Thanks for sharing, Sally – Hugs ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for reblogging, Sally, and for the informed intro. My appreciation for your continued support goes without saying. Love and hugs, sweet friend 💜
LikeLiked by 2 people
Always delighted Tina.. you keep our feet on the ground and centred.. hugs ♥ ♥
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hi Chris,
I am a big fan of Tina’s. She’s become a friend. I’m glad you hosted her on your blog.
Janice
LikeLiked by 2 people
It’s always a pleasure to have Tina call over to the treehouse, Janice 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aaaw, Janice, I never thought of myself as having fans. I can now cross that off my bucket list! All kidding aside, please know the feeling is mutual. I have bookmarked every one of your informative blog posts. Hugs, my friend 💜
LikeLiked by 2 people
Back at you!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Reblogged this on TINA FRISCO and commented:
Our generous Story Reading Ape has granted me another guest post on his most informative blog. Thank you, Chris, for giving me the opportunity to share the little wisdom I have acquired throughout this earthly journey we call Life. And, if you haven’t already done so, remember to stop by the pearly gates and pick up your angel wings 💜
LikeLiked by 2 people
I don’t think they have them in my size, Tina LOL 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
They come in every size imaginable, Chris, as do angels 💜
LikeLiked by 1 person