My thanks to Phil, the Tasmanian Devil, for these:

Some of these are old, but still clever and funny.

• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a typo.
• I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
• I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
• When chemists die, they barium.

• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
• I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
• I dropped out of communism class because of terrible Marx.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• Velcro – what a rip off!
• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.


28 thoughts on “LEXOPHILIA at LARGE…

  1. Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
    This from a couple of days ago to brighten your afternoon. The Story Reading Ape does not just gather humourous snippets to entertain us but also supplies a fabulous author promotional service. He is one of the most generous apes (good looking too) I have ever known.. trust me I have met a few…head over and prowl around his enclosure.. #recommended

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As a devoted Lexophile–my husband will tell you I never tire of words–I love these. I’m not especially into puns, in general, but there are some pretty good ones in this list. My lexophilia leans toward reading entire pages from the dictionary, just for the sheer pleasure of finding new words, and hoping for a chance to use them. If they’re funny, too, all the better.

    Thanks for sharing! 😀

    Liked by 1 person


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