Danny’s Latest Adventures
I just got in from walking my human; his name is Andrew. I, of course, am Danny the Dog, purveyor of wit and words, not to mention wisdom.
Many a time I’ve kept you engrossed with my wondrous tales of taking Andrew for his morning constitutional to the park; however, I’ve been remiss in not regaling you with narratives of our stop by the Tiki hut every morning. In a moment, The Adventure at the Tiki Hut, but first the Tiki hut itself.
A Tiki hut, for those of you who are from another planet, is a structure consisting of four open walls and a pitched roof covered with palm fronds. The Tiki hut at our marina sports a refrigerator, a microwave oven, and three grills—two gas, and one regular. The humans used to congregate there in the evenings and do what humans do, mostly talk. But those humans have moved on to new ports of call. The only humans left here in the marina are like Andrew, that is to say, antisocial. Nowadays, the Tiki hut is inhabited only on Saturday afternoons when the male humans that store boats here, but do not live on them, come to drink beer and swap lies. They also say they come to get away from their females, but I don’t understand that. I like females, especially human females.
Please excuse me. There is a duck outside our boat, I have to go out and bark at him. Be right back.
I’m back. That was satisfying. I just love barking at ducks, don’t you? Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, the Tiki hut.
So, on Saturday afternoons when Andrew needs a break from his so-called work (he thinks it’s hard to write, for me it’s a breeze), we’ll go to see the humans up at the hut. Notice how it’s always all about Andrew. When he needs a break from writing, we go for a walk, but when I need a break from writing, we stay on the boat.
I like Saturdays because I like the guys. They always make a big fuss over me and I get many pats on the head and scratches behind my ears. They’ll say things like, “Is your daddy feeding you enough.” To which Andrew always says, “I prefer that Danny refer to me as his Lord and Master.” Yeah right! It’s the other way around and Andrew knows it. But I allow him to save face and I say nothing.
Andrew will then tie me to a post and leave. I told you he was anti-social. However, I like hanging out with those males; they have such funny stories of how their females make their lives miserable. I know that the stories are not true because no female would ever do that.
Now that you know all about the Tiki hut, I can tell you what I wanted to tell you to begin with. There are two cats that live here in the marina and they hang out at the Tiki hut. They are what humans call strays and the humans have banded together to feed them. They take turns buying cat food. Andrew even bought some . . . once! The cats are fed in the morning and in the evening. It is the morning feeding that interests me.
On our way to the park every morning, we swing by the Tiki hut because by then the cats have eaten and they always leave a little food in the bowl. Very little, I might add.
I love cat food, as anyone would. Wet or dry, but wet is better. It’s the only way Andrew can get me to take my pills when I’m sick. He tried hiding them in hot dogs, but I saw through his subterfuge and I ate around the pills, then spit them out. He then started to hide them in wet cat food and I would pretend not to notice (hey, I sometimes have to save face too). I just love wet cat food so much that it is worth swallowing a pill to get some.
I’ve gone far afield from what I wanted to say. It is simply this: Every morning I eat the food the cats leave in their dishes. It’s dry, but so what. The only problem is that it is on a table about three feet high and I’m only two feet high. So I have to get up on my hind legs to get to the bowls. You would think Andrew would help out and put the bowls on the ground for me, but nooo! Alicia (she’s the female that feeds them each morning), when she is around she will put them on the ground for me, but not Andrew.
That’s it for now. It’s Saturday and I’ve got to get ready to spend some time at the Tiki hut with my friends. And that damn duck is back . . . gotta go!
P.S. The picture above is of me up on my hind legs stealing eating the cats’ food.
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Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog 
Reblogged this on Danny the Dog.
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Watch your tummy, Andrew. I also like cat food but but it gives me the bad tummy rumbles. My human has to give me part of a pink pill she calls TUMS or something like that. Otherwise I have to eat a lot of grass and throw up to feel better.
What’s the name of that rather large gray furball sitting next to you? Hugs, Angel
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The cat’s name is “Little Mama.” At least that is what Andrew calls her. And don’t worry. That SOB Andrew will only let me have a few pieces of that delicious cat food.
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Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
What a treat, the heart throb of the community is online over at the Story Reading Ape.. I know that he is open to questions and suggestions (please keep them clean) and would love to hear what you think about his adventures…personally I feel there is a great deal he is not sharing about his fascination with the ladies and about any shenangans his human Andrew gets up to! just saying.
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LOLOL – Well said Sally – Hugs XXX
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Cat food is superior to dog food – it contains more animal protein (i.e. meat) … you cannot be fed on that stuff solely, as your metabolism is not up to digest so much protein. But a little snack should not harm you.
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Yes, cat food is superior to dog food, but people food beats them both paws down.
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Not for your health – people should have less than 60 % of animal proteins (I think the quota is about 25 to 35 %) – and you are supposed to have about 60 %.
You, like a cat, are still a carnivore, though not an obligate one, as cats are. Humans are omnivores. Human food is not ideal for you. Too much vegetables (well, ideally) and too much grains.
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I know what an omnivore is and I know what a carnivore is, but what does one call a species that lives primarily on vodka. That’s what Andrew is.
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A Vodkavore? 😄😄😄
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An alcoholic.
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You sure know how to spin a good tale. With your good looks, you’ll go far, though I’ve always known nothing stood in your way. 😀 🙂
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Ms., Crap, I have come far, and that was with being saddled with an inept human that I have to take care of every minute of every day. Imagine the heights I could have obtained if not for Andrew.
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Oh Danny-boy, you can sure spin a tale (and maybe a tail too). You are wise indeed and very photogenic, too. But that cat? Beautiful! Is it a he or a she? meoooow!
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Let’s keep this about me and leave the damn cat out of it!!!
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Danny, you get better with age! Great photos, too. One word of advice, my friend…where misery and females are concerned, you should listen to your male pals at the Tiki Hut! 😉
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I am very photogenic aren’t I? How kind of you to notice. Andrew always tells me never take advice from a female, but what does he know. I notice no females hang around him. On the hand, all the females love me.
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‘You the dog, Danny!! And I do agree with you that Andrew should be a little more helpful, but then again . . . well, you know, bud! Hang in there!
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Oh! The Tiki Hut! Most females are harmless, Danny, but not all. Some are just too involved with themselves, beware!
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No ducks round here, Danny, but as there is a pond in my human’s garden there are plenty of frogs to bark at.
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Frogs are not as much fun to bark at as ducks. In my youth I used to chase frogs and sometimes put them in my mouth, but they don’t taste so good. Nowadays, I just shrug when one hops in front of me.
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Danny! How sweet that the stray cats, wait for you to strut your stuff so you can sample their free food! As all the four-leggeds we have in our home right now are feline, I must say they would agree with your discerning palate. They much prefer the wet to the dry. Now, on the topic of the Tiki Hut… Perhaps I should set one of those up on my property, that way I could meet some men, eh?
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You better watch out. If you build a Tiki hut on your property, “they will come.” Then what are you gonna do with eight men? Not even enough for a baseball team. Wait a minute . . . Andrew just told me that you’d probably find some use for them.
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My goodness, you two are making me blush. Of course I could find something for eight men to do… now, where DID I put that “honey-do” list…
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