THAT’s the Problem in Revising
“What’s the problem?”
“That’s the problem.”
“What?”
“That.”
“I don’t get it.”
“That’s the problem.”
Sound like the old “Who’s on first” routine? Extraneous words that make a writer’s work bulky need to be eliminated. But how can you eliminate words that you don’t even see? That’s the problem, and that is one of those words that can usually be cut. Dialogue that is casual regularly contains many incidences of that word, but when it comes to writing, that can usually be deleted.
Are you still confused? If a sentence is understandable without “that” in it, take it out.
Example: “She told him that she was leaving” reads just fine as “She told him she was leaving.”
But why bother going through your manuscript at all to cut out extraneous words? Writing is a difficult, creative process. It’s nearly impossible to keep all the “rules” of writing in your head while being creative. Rules are a left-brained activity. Every completed manuscript needs revising before you can call it finished. Culling the extraneous “that”s is one step toward ensuring your story is tight, concise, and dramatic.
Other cuts include:
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Unnecessary dialogue tags:
If two characters are having a conversation, you don’t need “Mary said” or “Tony replied” after each spoken line or paragraph. They were needed while writing creatively, so you, the writer, could keep track of who was speaking. But when the scene is finished, look for ones that can be removed. If your scene contains multiple speakers, be very cautious in removing dialogue tags!
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Adverbial intensifiers (really, very, even, least, of course):
These are easy words to cut. If you’ve set up the scene and the characters properly, these intensifiers are not necessary. A small amount may remain in dialogue, because people do speak that way.
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Unquantifiable terms (large, small, tiny, plain, stuff, thing, it):
How big is large? How small is tiny? You can’t explain either term without relating it to something else. So specify. A suitcase-sized block of cheese. A sword thin as a pencil. And as for “thing” and “it,” you need to specify, especially if the last noun mentioned isn’t what you mean: “Irene backed into the dumpster, then drove off in it.” Um, the implied car or the stated dumpster?
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“And” (connect with a comma when possible)
“Bob and Alex walked into the store and talked about what was new.” How about: “Bob and Alex walked into the store, talking about what was new.” Be careful, though—the second construction implies they did both at the same time (concurrent) rather than one after another (consecutive). In some cases, “and” might be necessary. We’ll talk more about concurrent versus consecutive another time.
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Passive verb add-ons (began to, decided to, started to):
These are wordy and unnecessary. Skip straight to the action verb unless the action is actually interrupted.
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“So as to” or “in order to”:
Also wordy. Change these constructions to a simple “to” when possible. “In order to get a raise…” loses two words when changed to “To get a raise…”
In other posts, I’ll discuss different types of cuts that will increase your word count, but in a good way.
Next week we’ll discuss ‘Character Name Consistency’
Susan
To see the index and catch up with missed episodes of this series – CLICK HERE
Reblogged this on Author Matt Bowes and the Dog's Breakfast and commented:
No! Another darling lost. That. I love That. You can’t have my That’s. No!
*sigh* I suppose I’ll go back and hack away. After I write 2000 words, first.
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I’m sorry, Matt! 😦
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Reblogged this on lorettalivingstone and commented:
Some useful editing thoughts here:
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Thanks Loretta 👍😃😘
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Thank you, Loretta!
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This is awesome – thank you for sharing! 😀 I’m about to start editing, and this is a big help. Lol, I am DEFINITELY too wordy, and have a bad habit of using unquantifiable terms sometimes. A lot of times. *cough, cough* All the time. 🙂
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You mean with all those large things and really colorful items, Paige? 😀
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Lol, exactly! XD
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I, too, have a problem with “that,” and one of my last polishing steps is to search for every instance. “Give me that book” is fine. “He told her that he was coming” is not; chop it out. “I enjoyed the breeze that ruffled the curtains”– change “that ruffled” to “ruffling.” It’s tedious, but it tightens up the writing a lot.
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Oh, they’re definitely necessary and appropriate some of the time! 😀
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Interesting, informative and concise advice.
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Thank you, Rosemary!
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More than half of the writers I know, are busy editing at the moment, including me! This series should be invaluable!
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Oh, it WILL be Jaye 😀
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I’m glad it’s arriving at a good time. 😀
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Reblogged this on Anita Dawes & Jaye Marie.
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Thanks for sharing Jaye 😀
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I appreciate it, Jaye! ❤
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Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
Part three of Editing 101 by Susan Uttendorfsky of Adirondack Editing.. This is very useful for all writers of books, blogs and short stories. I know that I am guilty of ‘that’ syndrome! Great guide and if you have any questions for Susan head over and ask away.. she is waiting for your call…
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Thanks for re-blogging Sally – Hugs XXX 😀
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Thank you very much, Sally! Occasionally I run across a book, though, where the author has removed every single “that”! Then I have to put some back in… 🙂
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I am sure that ‘thats’ everywhere are glad they are not banished completely…x
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One of my most common comments on Facebook, LinkedIn, and on blogs is “There is absolutely nothing wrong with ‘ly’ adverbs, passive voice, dialogue tags, or anything else you’ve been told not to use. It’s the overuse of such things that editors and expert writers warn against! Every single part of English is there to be used appropriately—even semicolons.” And that includes thats. 😀
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Reblogged this on brittneysahin and commented:
Great advice!
I also go through and control find the word “just” and “and then” … I always find them when editing & cut almost all if possible (the ones my editor doesn’t catch). I didn’t know to do all this with my first books– all a learning process!
😉
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Thanks for the re-blog Brittney 😀
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Thank you, Brittney! And yes, writers are always learning. Just when you think you’ve remembered to cull the extra “that”s, some unnecessary “then”s pop up! 🙂
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