The very model of an amateur grammarian

Posted on by Chris The Story Reading Ape

Editors can be poets (and comedians) too 😀

Tom Freeman

Tom Freeman's avatarStroppy Editor

(With apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan)

I am the very model of an amateur grammarian
I have a little knowledge and I am authoritarian
But I make no apology for being doctrinarian
We must not plummet to the verbal depths of the barbarian

I’d sooner break my heart in two than sunder an infinitive
And I’d disown my closest family within a minute if
They dared to place a preposition at a sentence terminus
Or sully the Queen’s English with neologisms verminous

I know that ‘soon’ and not ‘right now’ is the true sense of ‘presently’
I’m happy to correct you and I do it oh so pleasantly
I’m not a grammar Nazi; I’m just a linguistic Aryan
I am the very model of an amateur grammarian

I’m sure people appreciate my pointing out their grammar gaffes
And sorting out their sentences and crossing out their paragraphs
When you…

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8 thoughts on “The very model of an amateur grammarian”

  1. Too funny! I was once in a production of Pirates of Penzance and always looked forward to the Major General song. I was also asked to not sing during the chorus parts, apparently I can’t match tones. After that writing seemed a better alternative.

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  3. I tried to comment on his blog, but could not find where …
    so I post it here:
    The Oxford dictionary
    presently
    adverb
    1At the present time; now: there are presently 1,128 people on the waiting list
    2After a short time; soon: this will be examined in more detail presently
    Of course he is entitled to disagree with the Oxford Dictionary, but he would be wrong 😛

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