Why and How I wrote The Gift of Memoir: Show Up, Open Up, Write

Memoirs bring light into the world. To read a memoir is to walk a mile in another’s shoes, someone who may be quite different from us. When we understand another through their eyes, understand the joys and tragedies of their lives, we have empathy for them.
Empathy reduces the stereotyping that leads to xenophobia and all the other phobias about people who may be different from us. In turn, this reduces violence, and that makes the world a better place. President Obama talked about this in his recent NATO speech about race, guns and the tragic shootings in the States.
I began this path to compiling a book on memoir writing when I realized my father would one day be gone. To preserve his spirit, his wit, his funny and sad and wise stories, I interviewed him by phone, fifteen minutes at a time, jogging his memory with lines like “and what about the one where …” and off he would go, both of us laughing as much as when he’d told them at the dinner table decades earlier. I jotted down fragments while he was talking, then filled in the gaps later. I put all the stories together into a permanent booklet. Dad is no longer here, but his legacy lives on in those inimitable words on paper.
The process was so much fun and so valuable to both of us and other family members that I started a small business doing this for elders. What a privilege to hear stories, to enter other worlds! I put together a course to teach others how to write their own life stories—my background as a teacher gave me the confidence and know-how. The course grew and grew. I did more and more research on the writing process. I read many, many memoirs. I knew two other women who had writing projects and we met once a month with work to read. The pressure of deadlines!
As four years drew to a close, I had thirty-three chapters covering what were to me the most important aspects of memoir writing. In the process, I tested material on the memoir writing classes I was giving. To cover the daunting costs of publishing, I crowd funded on Indiedgogo.
There are many reasons for writing memoir, but one of the primary ones is to offer nourishment and possibility to those who come after. You offer what you have learned by means of your stories, by leaving visible tracks behind you. A memoir that is bound in a form meant to last through the generations is visible and accessible in a similar way that a statue is seen and pondered. They are both acts of remembrance. Both are art that alert us to what matters.
We do expect memoirs to be true. Truth can be dangerous—on the other hand, telling your truth can be healing, can be shelter, can fell the barriers of stereotyping, can be inspirational. Some may want to record tragic events that may be terrible to remember but more terrible to forget, obliterate or hide. Others may simply write for the joy that storytelling brings them as they endeavour to get better at bringing their experiences onto the page, choosing the right word like a painter selects the perfect colour.
Elie Wiesel died last week. His memoir Night tells of the horrific events of the Holocaust. He gave voice to the pain that other survivors felt but could not write about. That’s another reason for writing memoir: to bear witness for others.
Maybe you have a mostly joyful memoir to write. Just for fun, let me suggest Free Days with George by Colin Campbell. Good, good story, with life lessons, too. No hints! Well, just one. George is a dog, a very big dog: a Newfoundland.

The world needs empathy. The world needs your story. I need your story. The more stories we know, the more inclusive we become as individuals and as a global community. When I read your story and understand you—what pains you, what lifts you up—I feel for you, I have empathy for you, I cannot be indifferent to you.
And that’s why I wrote The Gift of Memoir, and continue to give workshops in memoir writing. To inspire people to write down their stories. Because it’s important. Story by story, memoirs change people, change the world.

Amazon:
Thanks so much for mentioning my book, Free Days With George in this article. So glad you enjoyed it – I am very humbled… Thank you! Colin Campbell
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Colin, you read the whole article! Thank you for that.
Your book, Free Days With George was wonderfully honest and warm. Falling in love with a rescue dog who rescues you – what could be better? I bought my copy in Furby House Books in Port Hope the day you came for Indies Authors. I have a signed copy, happy to say. I’m so pleased to meet up with you again on Chris Graham’s blog. All the very best.
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Thanks to both of you. Needed to r ad this.
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I came to this by way of Sally, and I missed saying something important: Thank you for this lovely post, Chris Graham, our beloved Ape.
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My pleasure Cynthia 😘😘😘
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A beautiful, insightful post, Diane. Thank you, Sally, for bringing this to us. I especially love this paragraph:
“There are many reasons for writing memoir, but one of the primary ones is to offer nourishment and possibility to those who come after. You offer what you have learned by means of your stories, by leaving visible tracks behind you. A memoir that is bound in a form meant to last through the generations is visible and accessible in a similar way that a statue is seen and pondered. They are both acts of remembrance. Both are art that alert us to what matters.” Beautiful!
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Thanks, Cynthia!
How exciting to meet up with you on Chris Graham’s blog! Here’s to the Story Reading Ape. Thanks for clearing this path for us, Chris.
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Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
An excellent guest post by Diane Taylor on the gift of the memoir.. absolutely agree.. most people are not natural writers but can be natural story tellers.. Apart from writing her own father’s memoir with him, Diane offers that service to other seniors.. do head over and read and share from The Story Reading Ape’s blog.
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Many thanks for sharing Sally – Hugs 😘😘😘
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Delighted to Chris.. great post..xxx
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Thank you for reblogging! I have been to your site and it is filled with inspiring stories.
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Sally, thank you for reblogging! I found your site recently and it is amazing.
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Thank you very Diane.. very kind.. great article.
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Normally, materials available on Amazon.com, Amazon.UK… are available here at Amazon.fr. Alas, when I did a search for he book, I was unable to find it. Now I can go to Amazon.UK if necessary but when ordered here I receive them much sooner.
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Lea – It’s at:
https://www.amazon.fr/Gift-Memoir-Show-Open-Write-ebook/dp/B00ZK5KF8W?ie=UTF8&ref_=asap_bc
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I shall look for it. However, I can’t imagine why it didn’t show up in my search. I went to Amazon.fr and tried with the title and with the authors name. Alas, the gremlins strike again!
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I would love to have this available in France so that people like you are not inconvenienced. I’ll do some research. Thanks for the reminder.
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Reblogged this on Don Massenzio's Blog.
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Thanks Don 👍😃
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Thank you Don! I very much appreciate this. I like your sense of humour as indicated by the titles of your detective novels … “Let Me Be Frank” about Detective Frank Rozzani. You have me smiling.
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You’re welcome.
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Lovely post and it sounds like you are doing really good work.
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Thanks so much Jessica.
Your Infinity Pool that takes place on a sun-baked island appeals to me, as I lived on a tiny sun-baked and busy island for some time. All the best with plans to leave teaching.
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Wonderful post, Diane. A memoir is not easy to write. I know because I wrote my own several years ago. It started out as a light tale about my love of cats but turned into a cathartic exercise as I dug into the reasons behind my family’s adoption of a half dozen felines. Trying to lighten painful life moments with the joy of loving pets was a juggling act, but worth it.
I admire you for helping others collect and record their stories. I’m sure you have been a blessing to them all.
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Thank you, Lyn in Texas, for those kind words. What an interesting experience you have had writing about your family’s series of cats. That “juggling act” you speak of is at the heart of memoir writing. Congratulations! Would love to know the title.
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Glad to share the title, Diane. It’s called Six Cats In My Kitchen. You can find it on Amazon for Kindle only. Thank you for asking!
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This one came through! 🙂
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GOOD 😀
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