Writing about BARBARIANS – Guest Post…

Posted on by Chris The Story Reading Ape

A big thank you to the Storyreading Ape for having me on for a guest post so soon after being part of the promotional tour for my latest book, Legends of Windemere: Tribe of the Snow Tiger. This is the 10th volume of my fantasy series, which involves one of the heroes, Timoran Wrath, returning to his homeland. He is a barbarian, so I finally got to include more of his culture and background into the series. After writing about city-folk and nomadic tribes for so long, working with a group that is stationary and wild was certainly different. Writing barbarians is definitely not as easy as it looks. Here are 7 tips when it comes to this muscular warriors of the wilderness:

  1. BIG! The muscles are big. The weapons are big. The voices, boasting, appetites, houses, chairs, and everything about barbarians are big. Though if you go for the traditional route, the brains and rage fuses are rather small.
  2. Magic doesn’t really work for these guys. Even the smart ones prefer an axe over taking the time to cast a fireball. This can also turn into flat out fear or hatred of magic because it is loud, scary, and destructive. Only room for one force like that in a story and barbarians hate sharing that job. For many, it’s really the only thing they have and bills don’t pay themselves.
  3. Similar to dwarves, barbarian women don’t seem to show up that often. This works if you have a wandering one and no societal structure, so the term ‘barbarian’ is more of an insult than a chosen field. Now if you do introduce a female bruiser then please give her the proper weaponry. None of this bow and staff stuff. If they’re big enough to juggle cows like the boys then they can get a great axe.
  4. Don’t forget their love of fancy tea ceremonies, macramé, and romantic walks on the beach. Wait! I meant the rage. In nearly every fictional form, a barbarian has the temper of the Incredible Hulk only without the restraint. Living in worlds where killing while on an adventure is bizarrely legal, these guys will stomp your face into pudding for no other reason than you sneezed in their general direction.
  5. Wild animals tend to be scared of them. This probably feeds into the primal nature of the barbarians. A civilized person will boldly start a fight with a barbarian while a full-grown grizzly will decided that it wasn’t that hungry to begin with. This rule seems to go for more than predators since bunnies and squirrels are never seen running out of their path.
  6. Please don’t name the barbarian with some variation of ‘you know who’. It’s been done and I think that’s a copyright infringement. The punishment is Arnold Schwartzenegger coming to your house and making you watch the remake and then ‘Junior’. On the plus side, survive all of that and you get a signed t-shirt. No promise that it will be signed by anyone famous.
  7. Whenever more than one barbarian is involved in a story, a fight will break out. Might not be between them, but somebody is going to wake up in the afterlife or with a few missing limbs. There’s also property damage, economic ruin, terrified pets, traumatized guards, and full glass destruction due to a double dose of barbarian battle cry. Perhaps it’s for the best that most stories portray barbarians as wandering loners.

Warning: Should be noted that the author did not follow his own advice and made Windemere barbarians a society of philosophical warriors of the wild. The rage is more controlled after centuries of evolution and mastering instinctive meditation techniques. So, a special 8th tip is to do whatever you want with them. Just remember to feed your barbarians five times a day or they’ll get cranky.

TotST

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Charles E YallowitzAbout the Author:

Charles Yallowitz was born and raised on Long Island, NY, but he has spent most of his life wandering his own imagination in a blissful haze. Occasionally, he would return from this world for the necessities such as food, showers, and Saturday morning cartoons. One day he returned from his imagination and decided he would share his stories with the world. After his wife decided that she was tired of hearing the same stories repeatedly, she convinced him that it would make more sense to follow his dream of being a fantasy author. So, locked within the house under orders to shut up and get to work, Charles brings you Legends of Windemere. He looks forward to sharing all of his stories with you, and his wife is happy he finally has someone else to play with.

Blog: Legends of Windemere
Twitter: @cyallowitz
Facebook: Charles Yallowitz
Website: www.charleseyallowitz.com

42 thoughts on “Writing about BARBARIANS – Guest Post…”

  7. Even in my game groups, while I was still part of the table top consortium, barbarians drew a wince when brought into play. Unless, of course, someone deliberately went out of their way to make a comical one (like a kobald barbarian – you know, someone who couldn’t even measure up to a pony? yeah.) Heavens forbid we ever had two in the group who pulled out barbarian sheets. I don’t even want to think about the bloodshed that would have ensued!

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      • We tended to run high level games, and the brute strength was often necessary to survive. Though, the NPC barbarians were always fun to play with. I’d drive my players bonkers when I introduced them. About the only roles I avoided were ones that their size or limited dexterity would have caused more problems than I was willing to explain away (such as glass carvers, or similar delicate work.) Other than that, the GM I learned from encouraged us all to take a class and turn it on its head. Many a time we encountered barbarian bards, clerics, or other similar crafts that required book learning.

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        • Never got to play a high level game. It was always starting low and building up through a homemade adventure. Think 10 was the highest I ever got a character before my gaming days ended.

          Maybe people took the ‘no reading and writing’ thing too seriously when I played. The main barbarian in my series is a learned philosopher as well as a destructive warrior. This is kind of how he started in the game because he had been wandering the civilized lands for so long. Timoran was an NPC at this point, but eventually a player came in to use him. Poor guy turned into a drinking, blunt, fight loving stereotype by the end. How hard is it to play the smart giant?

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          • About as hard as it is to play the tough girl – if it’s not a stereotypical character type, not many are able to see outside the box for the class, unfortunately.

            I’d compare it to a really good villain, but some have an easier time than others putting together the bad guy you love to loathe.

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          • I tend to find bad guys a little easier, but I aim for some level of sympathy toward them. Only one of my series’s bad guys is poor evil and it’s not even the main one. The tough girl is always a challenge because it hits a note where you can’t do anything to make her grow. People enjoy it at the beginning, but trying to evolve the character with a romance, defeat, or any type of softness (even momentary) can cause friction.

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          • I’ve got 3 who have their own issues to deal with in my current books. I actually don’t mind the “tough” girl, who’s resilient – developing their arc is fun for me. The one I’m having issues with wound up wandering into the “strong, but soft” category, and I’m still having trouble wrapping my head around the concept. Kind of looking forward to working on her companion novella – will give me a chance to figure out what else is back there besides the surface bleeding heart caretaker she’s appeared as so far.

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          • I don’t find the ‘strong, but soft’ thing too difficult. It’s all situational. The character is tough in a fight and when cornered, but still shows the more sensitive emotions in the proper places. For example, I have a female character who is easily the most powerful one and will dive into battle without fear. Yet, she will still cry when she loses someone dear to her. The male characters do this too.

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          • That’s one of my “tough girls” – she’s a shaman/druid, so any time a life is cut short, she feels it.

            The one I’m having trouble with is the equivalent of a party’s healer. She can fight, and does so well, but it cuts her up inside every time she causes an injury. (And the situation surrounding her inclusion in the group makes that bit highly ironic.)

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          • ::Grins:: I’ll admit, shameless plug.

            Whenever you’ve time. I’m not planning on pulling the character articles down, even though the companion novellas for those characters are coming together.

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