My Stateside friend is on an email roll…
Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.
How come we choose from just two people to run for president
and from over fifty for Miss America?
When I was young we used to go ‘skinny dipping,’
now I just ‘chunky dunk.’
I signed up for an exercise class
and was told to wear loose fitting clothing.
If I HAD any loose fitting clothing,
I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place!
Wouldn’t it be nice if whenever we messed up our life
we could simply press ‘Ctrl Alt Delete’ and start all over?
Don’t argue with an idiot;
people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
Wouldn’t you know it…
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
Bumper sticker: ‘If you can read this, thank a teacher’.
And remember: Life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
FINALLY:
Save the Earth…
It’s the only planet with chocolate!
Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog 
How about: Life is like a septic tank; all the really big chunks float to the top 🙂
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LOL! I’m late to this post – I think my favourite is the first one!
😀
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😀
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So funny. My favorite? “Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.”
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😀 😀 😀
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I.r.r.i.s.t.i.b.l.e. 🙂 🙂 Giggles abound. 😮
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Ah, that’s why all the women came here from Venus was it, chocolate.
Hugs
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YEP 😀
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Hahah, Thank you for this! 😀
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Welcome 😀
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Well, that puts life in a light, light, now doesn’t it? A great ducky chuckle this morning. Thanks, Chris!
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Welcome – Have a great day 😀 😀 😀
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Thanks for the Sunday giggles, Ape. You’re awesome.
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Very welcome Teagan 😀
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Nice sayings.
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And I thought it was ‘Life is like a sewer: what you get out of it depends on what you put into it’
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That too 😀 😀 😀
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