You’re Only Old Once by Dr. Seuss

(This was heavily inspired by one of my favorite books growing up.  Dr. Seuss’s ‘You’re Only Old Once’ had a part called the Pill Drill.  I loved it as a kid even though I didn’t know what it meant.  It was just silly to me.  Now, I understand it all too well.)

You take the blue pill for your cough

But it leaves you with an ache.

*

You swallow square pills for the ache

But then you get a rash.

*

You smear the ointment to erase the rash

But you wake up with oozing ears.

*

You use a wash to clean your ears

But you lose your sense of taste.

*

You chew on green pills to revive your tongue

But gain a burning in your gut.

*

You drink the potion to ease your gut

But now you have…