New Year. New Book

Well Done, Lucy – Hope you have a Healthy and Successful 2018 (and that you manage to find the rest of your clothes again) ❤

Secret Diary Of PorterGirl

Welcome, friends – and enemies, what the heck – to the brand, spanking new year of Two Thousand and Eighteen! So far it is looking suspiciously like the last one, but a little bit wetter. No matter. It is that peculiar and mindlessly optimistic time of year when anything is possible and tantalising futures await, despite the fact that we have spent the last fortnight on the verge of alcoholism and none of our clothes fit any more. Except those fleecy penguin pyjamas with the stretchy waistband… (guess who’s been living in penguin pyjamas for a week…)

Anyway. You may be wondering why I am wearing only a bowler hat and College tie. There are two very good reasons for this. Number one – as I said, none of my clothes fit me at the moment. Number two – following an intensive period with no human contact and surviving exclusively…

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