Monday Funnies

 

WARNING – DIAPERS MAY BE REQUIRED BEFORE READING!

My Thanks to Phil the Tasmanian Devil for these EXAMPLES FROM BRITISH MILITARY OFFICERS’ REPORTS Part 1

1.  His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.

2. I would not breed from this Officer.

3. This man is depriving a village somewhere of its idiot.

4. This officer can be likened to a small puppy – he runs around excitedly, leaving little messes for other people to clean up.

5. This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, more of a definitely won’t-be.

6. When she opens her mouth, it seems only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

7. Couldn’t organise 50% leave in a 2 man submarine

8. He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.

9. He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.

10. Technically sound, but socially impossible.

11. The occasional flashes of adequacy are marred by an attitude of apathy and indifference.

12. When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably.

13. This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.

14. This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope, always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.

15. Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.

16. She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

17. He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.

18. This Officer should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.

19. In my opinion this pilot should not be authorised to fly below 250 feet.

20. The only ship I would recommend for this man is citizenship.

21. Couldn’t organise a woodpecker’s picnic in Sherwood Forest .

22. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

 

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